This may seem totally unrelated to Lucumi, but it has just as much to do with spiritual life as it does with mundane, everyday life. It affects the energies you allow into your space. It affects the people you give audience to in a multitude of situations daily, which includes picking godparents, how you interact with elders and priests, how you interact with your godbrothers and sisters and how calm or tumultuous your everyday life will be. Below is part of my letter to my son.

“I’m giving you another assignment. The entire situation you’re in is a play. You are the author of the play so you determine what role I play, what role your girlfriend and her grandmother have been playing, what role your friends have been playing. Everyone who is in your life (or absent from it) plays a role. I want you to really evaluate and give a synopsis of all the characters in your play and define them. Give them titles or define by stereotype- i.e. the good son, the harlot, the thief, etc. The purpose of the exercise is to help you see what role you are allowing people to play in your life. The thing is, it is not them playing the role in your life. The emphasis is that you as the author, screenwriter and director are allowing, accepting, and encouraging the role they play in your life by your lack of action to do otherwise or your acceptance. You are the reason the characters exist – good, bad or otherwise. Then determine which characters you feel are acceptable. If there are any that are not acceptable, determine how do you change that to make your life better. What do they say to you? How did the conversation go before that allowed you to permit them to impose upon you? How should the conversation go now when that same discussion re-presents itself? How does the play go after that correction has been made?… No one else can write in or out these characters, no one else can govern how these characters interact in your life but you. Begin to decide what you accept and what you no longer accept for yourself and how to successfully make that the new reality.
I love you very much, Mom.”