The Math of Relationships is a formula for relationships of all kinds: friendships, romance, mentor, Godparents, Godchildren. Like most equations, this is found in nature and it governs universal forces.

R = p + e

R symbolizes the relationship, p is the other person and e is your energy

The energetic qualities that work in this math problem are similar to the energetic quality of magnets. Not so much that opposites attract, but the forces that require the other half are designed to lock together where they meet. This is the same math/physics/energy in our bodies at a cellular level. Dopamine locks into receptors because of its shape combined with the shape of the receptor, as an example.


So using our examples, let’s get some relationships started!

R = p + needy and dependent

When the p comes along he/she is either driven to care for someone who is needy and dependent or he/she is repulsed by it.

R = p + nurturing

When the p comes along he/she is happy to stand alongside the energy of a nurturing mate.

If relationships are so easy to figure out, then why do we still have so much difficulty? Because people are composed of too many variables.

R = p + overweight

When the comes along he/she will love a person who is overweight. Problem? No, not unless you change the variable and make it a complicated equation. What if you decide that being overweight is no longer what you want for yourself?

R = p + (overweight – overweight) or (0)

You have now removed your energy from part of the bond. It happens often that when someone materially changes the way they look partners lose attraction. The equation is now dependent on another factor to remain intact, perhaps:

R = p + (overweight – overweight) / x

Weight is so superficial. Why should that be a determining factor? I don’t believe it is, I believe there is another variable called y.

R = p(y) + 0 / x

y is the hidden agenda the p or the may keep secret even (or especially) from themselves. Sometimes it will also follow generations:

R = p(y2) + abuse me because I’m unworthy(y4)

Should a person really worry about all these variables to start a relationship? I would say that there is only one part of the equation that requires any consideration at all. It is the e variable, the part consisting of your energy. This is the part that one can control. This is the part, with deep analysis and internal work, that will provide the greatest benefit in the long-run.

I broke it down as a math equation because in studying nature, I often look for universal truths to find the answers to questions I have. The other reason is that most of us have pushed harder to understand mathematical equations than we have in figuring out that the same concepts apply to our daily lives, and what roles or positions we hold in those equations. If we put the same effort into truly identifying the characteristics that make up our own e and y, I believe we will find healing on many levels, relationships included.